I was sad and surprisingly down, after a beautiful day, and appreciative night, and so much of gratitude. What do I receive today, So that can give it away? There was a no buzz. There was no wave of the recent exuberance that was there just few hours before.
I checked my table of life structures. I have an indicator graph based on the numbers I assign to each structure. And the trend-line was dipping. Was I saying myself lot of depressing thing. And then I realized that the mind resists when u r about to embrace a new habit.
That was a revelation.
I reopened the table of life structures with its various sub-elements that was discussed in the first week. It is indeed a helpful tool to keep evaluating yourself bit by bit. It helps discover your plus points which apparently were negative to you so far, and then love yourself with turning the weaknesses to strengths. That is liberating. This particular constitution of mine is due to a certain reason, and are there so as to save me from distractions. What a heavenly design for the particular purpose of my incarnation. I now know why those certain pathways were blocked, why those directions were never opened, why it felt like a closed tunnel when I persisted on the path that is not chosen for me, but I saw and started walking. It has been painful because that is not the path. The entire design of this incarnation is not meat to take that path.
Having realized that, now the chosen path has to be discovered. The end picture is clear. But since I do not know whether I have started at all, it feels like a dream. A desire that is unrealistic. But nevertheless, the struggle to find out the new path is not there anymore. I need to sit in meditation, and be willing, for that picture to be unfolded. The sacred yes. It is that simple. Till that time, all the pain and negative incidences are just hints for me to look more intently at my destined path. The sweet surrender.
It is so obvious, yet I kept ignoring the hints. That is the unfolding today.